As of late, we’ve had a few movies come out depicting the classic story of friends merely ‘hooking up’ without any real romantic interest or commitment. It’s so common nowadays, we actually have labels for it: ‘no strings attached’, ‘friends with benefits’. So I started thinking…is it possible to have the ‘benefits’ and still be friends ? Of course, it didn’t take long for me to come up with an answer…Absolutely not!
Hooking up with no strings attached never works. Let me explain why…
As much as we want to believe that no feelings are involved and we’re just ‘having fun’…the truth is, feelings are always involved. Even if we do come up with some silly rules in advance to NOT catch feelings, we cant actually control how we feel. We’re human after all! We feel. We think. We have emotions. That’s what we do. It’s totally illogical and irrational to expect otherwise.
When it comes to ‘friends with benefits’ the fact of the matter is, both parties are always in a completely different state of mind. One so called ‘friend’ (we’ll make him a he in my example, if you don’t mind) is completely infatuated. He’s just playing the role. He knows he’s falling hard, but he won’t ever say anything. Secretly he cares more than he expected. Secretly he thinks his friend will change her mind…someday. Maybe she’ll come around. Maybe she’ll grow to love him and see him in that way…The way he sees her. He’s busy driving the car right to the altar and he’s not even stopping to ask for her consent.
Meanwhile, she’s sitting back enjoying the ride.
She doesn’t have true feelings for him. She cares for him, but she’s not in love with him. She’s merely basking in the glory of undivided attention. She’s taking it all in. She’s enjoying the scenery and breathing in the fresh air. Secretly, she knows how he feels but since hes not saying anything it’s safe to pretend. (Who wants to pass up attention with no expectations, anyway?)
Then one day all s**t hits the fan. Feelings? You have feelings ? Now she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t force her feelings, so there’s no chance. And he, well, is completely in love with someone that cannot reciprocate those feelings. So in turn, he’s angry and disappointed. And the friendship – is pretty much over.
Entertaining a friendship like this is a complete waste of your life.
For starters, it’s completely wrong, hurtful and cruel. Not to mention a friend like this will ruin your chances of finding true love. They’ll waste your time and valuable opportunities of meeting someone else. Someone better. Someone you truly want to be with and truly wants to be with you.
Skip the benefits, keep the friend.
What do you think? Leave a comment.
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